Sunday, April 20, 2008

Have you ever seen someone “fly fish”. Unlike normal fishing where the line is cast, and reeled slowly in, during fly fishing the line is cast in a more whip-like motion. Once the fly touches the water it is then immediately snapped back in. Sometimes, I wish desperately that I was a fly fisher with the ability to whip my line back in immediately after it has been cast. On the end of my line however is not a fly, it is my words. Yep, that’s right. Sometimes, almost immediately as the words come from my mouth, I want to yank them back in. This is because most always I have not thoroughly thought about what I am about to say before I actually speak. Instead, I just blurt out whatever comes to mind, and without a line to pull them back in, things can become quite embarrassing, destructive, and chaotic to say the least.


Once while working the counter at Shopaholics Palace, a slightly pregnant woman came to me looking for the new diamond covered pacifiers. I smiled as I guided her through the aisles and asked “When are you due?” She giggled at my apparent mix up and said, “I had Jonathan last week!” I looked at her belly and said with no thought at all, “Oh, so how long will it take to get rid of Prego-belly?” This is where a nice fishing line would be great because the look on her face was a mix of disbelief and raw disgust. Now any normal person would have stopped there, but not me. I tried to back peddle the best I could, saying something about how breastfeeding helps shrink the tummy, and not to worry because at least it was winter and sweatshirts will help camoflage the bulge until summer! Seriously, sensitivity training would not be lost on me. By the time I had finished talking to the new mother she was sobbing so heavily that she had to be escorted to her car by my manager, and was advised to call her husband to drive her home. I was then called into the office where I was given the “Think before you speak - if you don’t have anything nice to say don’t say anything at all” speech for the 2 millionth time before I was allowed to go home for the end of my shift. This is not an exaggeration by any means. This is real life people. Mine. I couldn’t make this up even if I tried.


Anyway, this is not the first time my mouth has gotten the better or me, and most likely won’t be the last. I was born with my mother’s talent of gab, complete with it’s pros and cons. Sure, I can walk into any social setting and fit right in, but give me a couple minutes and I will surely say something that I must quickly fix. I don’t do it on purpose of course, I just believe that honesty is the best policy and sometimes I take it a little too far.

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