I know to many people I am "complicated", with many moods, personalities, and faces. To me, I just think I am multi-faceted like a diamond. Smooth sometimes, beautiful mostly, and sometimes when the time warrants it, I can cut through glass.
Either way, I cannot change the fact that my mood can change on a dime, like it did this morning.
See, most of the time I am very flexible, can be spontaneous, and roll with the punches. I mean, if you show up with a suitcase and a tank of gas count me in for the road trip. BUT. . . If I have something going on, and have a well thought out plan with time management included and you through in a kink I get so pissed off and everything that happens following that kink is DIRECTLY your fault and you will feel the blame.
Case in point.
Today I have a newborn session at 1, and I had my plan thought out. My alarm was set to give me optimum time around the house for cleaning, showering, and getting my equiptment together. This plan was based on my hubsy getting LO up and taking her to daycare this morning.
That was the plan.
However, this morning when I started to stir at 8:30 I rolled over to view my daughter's bed and she was still there snuggled in her covers. I bleary eyed stared at the clock to make sure I was seeing this correctly. 8:35. Yep, hubsy left her here for me to get dressed, cleaned and out the door.
I lay there slowly getting upset that I couldn't sleep the extra 20 minutes til my alarm. I thought to myself "He must have been really tired this morning and decided to let me handle the daycare drive. Ok, well I can understand that. If he was nice enough to leave me a note or send me a quick text showing me that he understands that this will inevitably mess up my day, if he shows in anyway that he gets what I might go through this morning, I will forgive him."
No text. No note. No symbolence anywhere in our home that he gave one single thought to how this would effect my day.
Now I am Pissed.
We just freaking had this talk on Saturday, how he just needs to show me a little bit that he cares about my time, and what I have to do, or might do. And yet, here he did it again. No care, not even a thought across his mind that he might have just put me in any kind of bind. Fucking Selfish. UGH.
So then of course I couldn't find my keys, and wasted an hour looking for them. His fault.
I hit my head getting into the car in a rush. His fault.
Now it is eleven, I got NOTHING done this morning around the house or work wise, I have to get in the shower or I will miss my appointment and I didn't even have my coffee yet. His fault.